A Stand for Truth

A short while ago I decided to get married and was a bit perturbed about my weight.  On speaking to a practitioner we soon uncovered that I felt a sense of burden and I was carrying it all around my body.  I was burdened by being a single mother for some time, burdened by having to solve problems, and by the sense of having to fix everything for others.  I was becoming interfering and a bit of a control freak!

Then I saw that I was carrying a false sense of responsibility.  This was a great breakthrough, but more understanding was to follow.

I had been telephoned by my sister in law, who now also found herself widowed as I had five years previously.  Over the last six months I had tried to provide comfort to someone who was going through what I had, even though she had been awful to me after my own husband’s death.  Forgiveness had made me feel I should be helpful.

While having our conversation she made a very nasty and unkind remark about my son (her nephew), and made me very angry!  I went for a walk, blazing in fury, and spoke to my son.  He said that he was not having anything to do with her, and now he was an adult his decision was made.  I was glad that he could be so cut and dried about things, and envied his ability to be so.

After our conversation on the mobile and his kind words to me, I carried on walking and said “What?” to God – “What is this about?” – knowing that all things painful also carry growth.

Immediately I got a reply.  An angel thought.  “Stand for truth” it said. 

I stopped dead in my tracks.  “What stand for truth”? 

“You are dishonouring me.” Ooops – I was dishonouring God and didn’t know it!  How dreadful.

And then I realised I had been insincere in my time with her.  I had ‘taken her on,’ problems and all.  What on earth had I been doing all these years, and why?  It was a marvellous change for me to allow this new thought to take hold –  a huge release from feeling I should be available out of a sense of what?  Guilt?  Obligation?  Responsibility?

In the next few days I resolved to be very principled about my dealings with people and to understand that I don’t need to take everything on personally.  God is the one who solves, sorts, provides and heals.  I can be guided about who to speak to, what to say to them, and when to say it, but I don’t need to feel that I personally have to take on the burden of their problems.

As so often happens when you make a major change, in came a bunch of things to test my resolve; but so easily I brushed them aside. Even unbidden thoughts were dropped immediately.  What a lifting and freeing sense I felt!  I truly understood the phrase ‘Ye shall know the Truth and the truth shall make you free’. 

The repercussions have been that I feel very much more loved, rather than overloaded, and in loving myself as God does I know this will stand me in good stead for my work and for my life in general.  What is happening with the weight?  Well, with the spiritual change I have made the physical won’t be long behind!

I am immensely grateful for this deep change.