"Precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little and there a little." Isaiah 28:10
"Precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little and there a little." Isaiah 28:10
I think I used to be acutely self-conscious. I had nightmares about turning up at school half-dressed. This didn’t stop me from trying public speaking when asked, or being willing to teach, or act in plays. However, in social situations, I was very afraid of exposing myself, or making a mistake. If someone challenged me in a conversation, I’d always back down and assume I was wrong, and was therefore reluctant to speak my mind. I’d also put up with public humiliation and embarrassment, which seemed to be my lot in life.
I’m not sure what has specifically changed this feeling, but gradually over the last few years, there has been growth. I do know that I had to interact with someone who spoke their mind, no matter how controversial, and expected the same of me. Perhaps a group singing class I attended helped this too. In the end I think this has happened naturally as a result of spiritual growth, which is the effect of studying and practising Christian Science.
I now know that failure is not something to be feared, but an opportunity to try again and to practice persistence. That speaking my mind is helpful to others, either because I am saying the right thing, or if I’m not, because it brings those latent misperceptions to the surface enables any hidden falsities to be corrected. And if I’m in an embarrassing situation, I don’t have to pretend it’s normal, I can tell others how it feels, and that might help them to learn to defend my dignity too.