Healing of Smoking

I have been raised in Christian Science and became a member of The Mother Church at the age of 12.  Yet from 16 onwards I have had a battle with smoking cigarettes. This habit came and went, right up until recently.

I would stop smoking for years only to start up again because situations in life were getting out of control.  I felt angry that I couldn’t deal with it, or maybe subconsciously I felt angry at God for not dealing with it!  Occasionally I would go to total overload and smoke a small amount of cannabis  This was easy to stop because I felt so far removed form God’s guidance when smoking it, it kind of killed itself off.  I have always loved God, but I would get angry at finding myself in situations where I felt unfairly treated or taken advantage of.   I tried to pray and things would get a little better then something would mentally smack me in the face and I was back to the cigarettes.

I remember one time excusing myself by thinking and saying that ‘cigarette time was my time,’ when what was actually going on was the opposite as the cigarette distracted me away from my time with God. Every night I would pray and try to listen for the right idea to stop smoking,  The next morning I would study the lesson and then go down stairs make a cup of tea and have a cigarette.   This recent cycle went on for one and a half years.  In the past it had been will power not God’s power that made me nearly give up.  My husband also smoked and this situation started to grate, as I didn’t like smelling of cigarettes.  I only smoked outside so I was getting fed up with being rained on and even some days snowed on.  It was really quite a comical situation!  My neighbours even decided we must love the outdoors as we could always be spotted huddled under our garden umbrella in the winter!

The whole situation was making me feel pretty fed up as I prayed so hard yet couldn’t break through the mesmerism of addiction. I never lied about the smoking and was quite straight with people about it, even telling my teacher that it had raised its ugly head once more.

The thing that broke it was being offered a job which was involved with The Mother Church.  There was lots of work involved, but a great learning curve to be enjoyed.  The one thing that I felt must be overcome before really getting on with this job was the smoking.  This happened in the most gentle and beautiful way – in fact it was my husband who is not a Christian Scientist who started the process.

The Monday after we’d been asked to do this work my husband stopped smoking, and so I, feeling rather shocked that God had got to him first, had to stop too. I’m not saying that it was easy – there were a few weeks of struggle – but our children supported us and put up with us.  The wonderful thing is that we have both stopped, and as soon as we did I noticed that when I read the Lesson it actually started to speak to me. I felt like the truths in all the podcasts – Sentinels, Journals, Lessons – were flooding my thoughts with good.  I had never felt this way before.  This was the healing that I had been waiting for, for 27 years, that of complete freedom from addiction.

Now when things get tough I quickly turn to God and halt the sense of annoyance before it’s allowed to build. I haven’t any great quotes to say this was the one that did it, but I was certain that every bit of prayer I had done over the years had contributed to this healing. We now recognise discouragement and anger early on and calmly get them to leave quickly, before being allowed to take root.

Our home is a much happier place now.  Life feels bright and safe, as every move is made with a single eye on God, no longer bouncing from matter to Spirit.  I try to take the spiritual route in all I do