"Precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little and there a little." Isaiah 28:10
"Precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little and there a little." Isaiah 28:10
Three weeks after I had come home after class, the person I had just bought a house with and was due to marry announced that he no longer wanted to marry me, and we parted with little explanation. The church was booked, the dress bought, and I was starting a new job the next day. Miles from family and friends I felt very alone, fearful, and miserable.
A dear practitioner was contacted, and within hours I felt a comforting sense of peace. I was able to rest somewhat before starting the new job. The job turned out to be so demanding, and involved such a steep learning curve, that I barely had a moment to myself in the day time. But when I came home to an empty house I often dissolved in tears on the carpet! The practitioner encouraged me to think of my home as filled with angels waiting to welcome me on my return. This helped turn the stumbling block into a stepping stone.
I did my best to look outward and express Love with a capital ‘L,’ and not sink back into self-pity. One night, feeling rather down, I listened to a Radio Sentinel tape about a lady whose husband had left her after 25 years of marriage. She had rebuilt her relationship with God, and told how God’s husbanding love had come into her experience in all sorts of ways beyond the “blueprint” of one man! I realised I needed to be grateful for and receptive to the love God was pouring out so openly in my experience. Before long I adopted a cat from a nearby sanctuary, who was as glad of a home as I was of a companion.
Several months later a male friend asked if he could become my lodger for a few months while he completed the sale of his house -- which helped greatly with my mortgage repayments. This turned into eighteen happy months of cooking meals together, country walks, and general harmony on a completely platonic level. When he left a university friend was eager to fill his place.
Along the way I had made a few guarded attempts at ‘engineering’ relationships, but they all ended in further heartbreak and frustration -- so I resolved to avoid men indefinitely. I convinced myself I was busy, satisfied, and had no need, or room, for a man in my life. However, this attitude was hiding a lot of resentment and hurt. Only when a close relative pointed it out did I realise that I had actively begun to dislike men in general, making snide statements and jibes about them. My relative asked how this lined up with the Biblical promise, “Thy maker is thy husband?”
My relative went on to share a Sentinel article in which the writer had felt impelled to write a list of qualities they would like to companion with. They then worked to live these virtues, taking a new one every day. So my relative and I both wrote our lists! At first they were the human qualities such as kindliness, compassion, humour, etc; but soon went on to include more metaphysical ones, such as spiritual intuition, and the expression of Principle and Love and Soul. We saw the daily living of these qualities as our spiritual adventure.
My own situation did not change for another two years, but I finally realised that I was making great spiritual progress. On the odd occasions when I was tempted to become despondent I remembered my Dad’s sound business advice, “You never take a balance sheet part way through a year!”
During this time I was able to help a dear school friend who suddenly found herself going through a divorce at the age of 25. One night she rang in floods of tears, and I found myself telling her that God had a wonderful plan for her and great things were in store. She ended up saying “I know things are going to get better, and I know this because I’ve seen how you have turned a disaster around and become stronger through it. You are independent and happy, and yet you are single.” I think the conversation comforted me as much as her!
At the point when I was really secure with myself and my relationship to God, and honestly not seeking to meet someone, a very dear and wonderful man came into my experience. He too was very contented in himself and not on the lookout for a partner. We seemed to complement each other in a very natural and comfortable way. As the relationship deepened I realised that this “gentle beam of living Love” was helping develop aspects of my being that I had never known before, and he felt equally blessed.
Recently I rediscovered my list of qualities. It wasn’t surprising to find that not only they had developed in me, but this dear man expressed every one of them...and then some! I am so grateful for this wonderful proof of God’s tender loving care. Love has indeed wiped all my tears away and made me a “new creature in whom old things pass away and all things are become new.”