"Precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little and there a little." Isaiah 28:10
"Precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little and there a little." Isaiah 28:10
10 days before Christmas, I stayed home from work. I couldn't get out of bed easily, my eye was inflamed and closed, and I hadn't been able to sleep because of the pain.
Mary Baker Eddy says in Science and Health, "Inflammation is fear" (414:32). And so it seemed. I was entertaining many fears. I was afraid that I could not handle the belief of increasing stress on my job. Furthermore, I wanted to spend more time in spiritual study and demonstration, but the industry I worked in was anchored in materialism and the long hours I worked left little time for study. I was fretting about the best time to retire, and wasn't sure I could afford it now. I was worried that if I retired my position would not be filled promptly, resulting in a heavier workload for the remaining staff members. I really wanted to go into the practice, but, as I discovered later, was afraid that I could not heal.
I worked for myself a couple of days but found no improvement; in fact, things seem to be worsening. As company policy required that I had to provide a doctor's note after being absent for three days, I called a practitioner to work for me. I was able to move without pain immediately. However, the eye did not seem to heal and since I live alone it was recommended that I go to a nearby Christian Science nursing facility for rest and spiritual support.
Through my work with the practitioner, I began to "see" in a more focused way: to see how much God loved me; to see that I had been with God since "the morning stars sang together" (Job 38:7); to see that it was safe to uncover hidden fears (that I couldn't heal) and resistances (to going into the practice); to see that the world of infinite Love was concrete, represented in the beauty of the surroundings, and kindness of strangers and others, as well in the help of the practitioner.
A practitioner once said: "the fear IS the disease." St. John said: "perfect love casteth out fear" (I John 4:18). And it did. And with it went the belief of disease. The pain dissolved, replaced by a wonderful peace and joy as I realized how loved and safe I was. I began to learn that because God was all and I was inseparable from that allness, I could fully pursue a ministry with the knowledge that God healed and knew no other way BUT to care for His children.
The final step, the practitioner reminded me, was to know that the disease had NEVER happened, which fact I gladly acknowledged and kept in thought. Even though some of the symptoms lingered, I knew I was healed. I returned home. I also submitted my resignation at work. And I have never looked back. The healing was, in fact, complete and the blessings have poured in. All my spiritual and material needs have been met. I am pursuing my spiritual dream and gratefully enjoying its fruits.