"Precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little and there a little." Isaiah 28:10
"Precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept, line upon line, line upon line, here a little and there a little." Isaiah 28:10
I’ve always known that learning to love myself rightly is crucial to my progress as a healer. Jesus commands us to love our neighbour as ourselves, which shows just how important it is. In theory, I understood this, but in practise I needed a much deeper understanding of it.
I’d like to share a few ‘light bulb’ moments that have helped my journey so far.
The first happened when I was feeling very frustrated with my body, which was causing me a lot of pain. At one point, I remember blurting out that I hated my body, as I felt it was nothing but trouble! I realised I’d thought this for as long as I could remember, and it had never occurred to me to think otherwise. Somehow I even believed that it was in line with Jesus’ and Mrs Eddy’s teachings!!
God supported my quest for understanding with a wonderfully timed Journal interview with a Californian teacher, Anne Stewart, addressing this very issue. She says (quote) “The body is the substance of Soul and therefore is innocent.... That’s a very different perspective – to see the body as innocent, not a potential trouble maker. Every day we can and must protect ourselves …we tend to fear our bodies instead of defending them.” (End of quote) WOW! What a new perspective for me.
Around this time I also had a couple of serious emotional challenges to address – things I had never felt able to discuss with anyone. The first (and hardest) step was asking for prayerful support from someone -- which immediately started to break the mesmerism. This was when I realised I needed to move beyond just seeing the innocence of my body, to actually positively loving myself as God loves me.
One of the challenges I was dealing with was my relationship with my mum. Right then I felt I needed mother-love more than ever. I had always craved a ‘perfect’ mother/daughter relationship – one that involved lots of hugs, warmth, praise, fun times… and tenderness.
It was this word – tenderness – that provided another ‘lightbulb’ moment. A physical healing was related to me that had involved treating the human body with tenderness. I realised I had never thought of myself (or my body) tenderly before – yet, that’s exactly how God loves each and every one of us. I also began to appreciate the tenderness being shown to me every day – and to see ways in which I could be much more tender with others.
This sense of tenderness got right to the root of the other mental challenge I was dealing with. For as long as I could remember I’d had moments when I lost self-control. While these ‘attacks’ only ever happened in private, they seemed to come out of nowhere and left me feeling devastated. I’d even come to believe they were a part of my personality that I might have to deal with for the rest of my life. But this time around, thanks to the tenderness of those close to me, I realised that the key to healing was love – and more specifically - love for myself as God loves me. Another precious light bulb moment!
Since then, I’ve still had to deal with a few attacks – but each time I can feel progress, with the promise that I will experience full healing. In fact, last time it happened, when I was feeling I’d failed yet again, I heard God telling me I was His beloved daughter, and He was pleased with me. That tender angel message helped me understand what it is to love myself as God loves me, and this continues to bless every facet of my life.